Eulogy
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: I watched C.T. die. And I asked my something-why? Why should I care?


_Take it from me, alright? The most you people can hope to do is die before you can see everything that you take joy and comfort in rot into filth and leave a steaming stinking hole in your soul that never fucking heals._

Noah "Spoony" Antwiler

* * *

**Eulogy**

As I die, I see things. Not my life…my life has been pretty non-existent for as long as I can remember. I'm a cypher, not a character. Not even a caricature. Why anyone should care that I'm dead is beyond me. But I still see. See things I wasn't there for. See things I missed. What once was, and is now lost. Or is it what may be? It's as if my life has been a prequel. And a very poorly written one at that.

I see a time when flashbacks were meant to complement a story, not overshadow it. A time where those flashbacks were in the background, not thrown into the eyes of the universe.

I see a time where the lines of individuals were well thought out. Memorable. Not trite and cliché. Not like the pleading for my thrown-in boyfriend.

I see Tex, cypher as she is…when she wasn't a cypher. When she was among characters that were at least archetypes rather than caricatures. A time where she fit the world she was in. A time when the Red vs. Blue War had actual focus, and was not just in name. A time where her firing a pistol around a blue simulation trooper was more engaging and character building than a generic crouch with double pistols. A time where she could still show her affection for her teammates, even if they were "her guys and jerks." Something about a yellow-armoured trooper. I wonder what became of her?

I see a time where the mechanics of the world were used to one's advantage. A time where a turret would be made fun of as to never running out of bullets, or where the head of a robot could operate one by virtue of simply being determined, or even a flag-worshiping zealot being cast down upon the cold earth, seeing his flag in all its flappiness in his last moments. Not the turrets that were used by the Innies (or "the Resistance…" clichéd names R' us) with smiling faces of doom. Cackling away, as if the situation is funny…which it isn't.

I see a time where action added to the story of life. Where even Tex could be captured. Where action had to fit in with the context. To serve the story, not overshadow it, to be more than over the top fight scenes with computers generating the imagery. Where throwing axes and ninja fights didn't exist. Where when people were crushed beneath objects, they uttered "son of a bitch" in a reference to a moment in Blood Gulch. Not crushed under boxes in a parody of _Sin City _for the sake of including a parody of no relevance to the written story.

And as my mind returns to the present, or past, I hear music. Rap music. Horrible, horrible rap music. Not the music of the Chupathingy. Not the music that signalled the arrival of a team that, while incompetent, people actually cared about. I hear a song about a gulch and blues. Drifting away, as if forgotten.

I won't be remembered.

But I hope that the days I'm seeing…will not be forgotten.

Because they meant more to the writing of the universe than I ever will.

* * *

_A/N_

_...is there really anything left to say?_

_Obviously this is all opinion, as per this being a 'vent my spleen' type fic. Something concieved in reaction to something that really grates me and depending on circumstance, may be an idea I follow up on and type. Episode 10 of season 10 was one such example. Not so much concerning the episode itself, but rather for the fact that if someone asked me why I feel _Red vs. Blue _stopped being such a long time ago (season 9 by the _latest_), I'd simply point to the episode as evidence-over the top action, lack of humour (or good humour at least), poorly developed characters and excessive CGI. Yet they went even further here, with cliche writing and a death scene that hasn't got me asking "why C.T., why?!" but rather, "why should I care?" _

_I've stuck with the series because of the slow running times, because while I got less bang for my time, it wasn't much time wasted either. But I stopped buying the DVDs and even sponsering a long time ago and quite frankly, I think I'm going to stop watching as well. If you like the direction the series has taken, more power to you, but for someone who was exposed to the series via season 1 and followed it since, there's frankly nothing left to keep me invested._


End file.
